The End By Mike McGee

If I should die today
I hope I’ve done all the laughing
I can let out of this body
I hope it was heard, appreciated and contagious

I hope a great many people remember
the fact that I was here

Not remembered like
Shakespeare or Mussolini
Remembered more along the lines of
a much simpler person
like Gandhi . . . Albert Gandhi
who lived down the street from me and
loved food and women as if
they were oxygen and humor. . . .

Humor
as in
there is no Albert Gandhi that I know of
I made him up and
that’s funny to me

If I die today
I want the world to be able
to go on without me

Even though I know
it will be incredibly hard

If I die today
I should be cremated
or properly stuffed
because I would make one fabulous
lawn gnome scarecrow

It really doesn’t matter what is done with my remains
but please
do not auction off my genitalia
or I will haunt you with dick jokes
for the rest of your life

If I should die today
I hope those who knew me well
will tell the world that I was
rarely ever serious
that inciting laughter was always
my primary goal
that by experiencing
someone else’s joy

I lived it as well

When ordering my tombstone
please have the date of my death
span three or four days
I want people to think of it
as a big event they may have missed out on

McGee-A-Palooza

If I die today
I want everyone
I’ve loved and liked
to know that I’ve
appreciated them very much
you’ve made this world
a hell of a lot more tolerable
I hope my life was worth your time
as yours was worth every second of mine

Should I die
today make note that I
am not ready for it
but I’ve accomplished
centuries in my decades
and for that I am grateful

So please enjoy tomorrow for me

If you can hear this You’re invited to my funeral
especially if you promise to
shut the fuck up every
once in a while and just listen
to keep fighting the good fight
to always do what is right
and before you go
tell the sun I said hello and
kiss the moon goodnight